Everyone Complains About the Weather, But No One Is Willing to Build a Weather Machine To Change It
07/18/2019
You know, maybe Mikkos Cassadine on General Hospital was on to a good idea back in 1981 when he built a weather machine and put Port Charles under a deep freeze in the middle of summer. (Of course my heart retroactively goes out to those poor cast members who had to walk around a hot studio wearing jackets and scarves while they filmed it, but such is life). Granted, I love winter. You'll never hear me complain about the cold and the snow. My thought is: you can always put more clothes on, but, at some point, you cannot take more clothes off. Just sayin.
In any event, yeah, it's super boring to write about, read about, or hear about the weather. But here we are. In NYC we are the grip of a hot humid fetid summer and it's all everyone can talk about and/or agree upon - we can't all agree upon, for example, how awesome or awful The Big Vase is (I think it looks like a giant version of something I'd buy on sale at Home Goods), but we can agree on how miserable we are (although, to be fair, comparing misery in New York is kind of a New York hobby, like people in the rest of the country collecting figurines of unicorns or doing needlepoint).
Some of my friends lamented the long wet cold spring and, to them, I say: "hope you're happy now". Yuck. It's the kind of weather where even cringing at the thought of having to wait on the un-airconditioned, un-fanned subway platform makes one sweat.
About a year ago I had a job interview in such weather and I had to get from my 'consultant' job to the interview in the middle of the work day in a suit without breaking a sweat. I, even the planner, figured out a route from Point A to Point B that was 95% air conditioned. It can be done in midtown Manhattan. But there's really little sadder than considering this an accomplishment. I didn't get the job but could say that I know where all the air conditioned spaces are. On the upside, if that's not a marketable skill, I don't know what is. :)
My final thought for the morning is to wish that our fellow New Yorkers have deodorant in their backpacks or purses, that our offices are so chill that one has to wear a sweatshirt, and that when, in a few months, you're lamenting a below zero wind chill, that you remember how you're feeling RIGHT NOW and you give thanks that you don't feel as though your skin is melting off of your bones.
BTW speaking of melting, the image here of the Wicked Witch is available from the Oriental Trading Company as a cardboard stand up. It stands 46" x 52" which seems to me to be a fairly healthy size for something like this... .... and I kind of want to buy it and throw a party centered solely around it.
I acknowledge that perhaps this entire blog post could be the result of a heat based delirium. Where's Mikkos when you really need him?
Happy Thursday! :)