This is a blog post about direction. Last year at this time I was in the last phase of a home improvement project that had started the summer before - a massive re-painting of every room in our tiny upper west side apartment. You know, you don't really know how big a 300 square foot two bedroom apartment is until you have to paint it all - not just the walls, but the ceiling too. Mostly it's a matter of finding a place for the furniture to go and I have tons of books, that can be a bit of a challenge.
This semi final phase was about painting the living room and after painting the bedroom a light blue and the middle room a light lavendar, I chose a sort of light green for the living room. However, once I started it, and had even purchased paint for it, I realized that it was not the direction to go in.
So often, I think, we find ourselves somewhere in life - whether that be a job or a partner or well, whatever- and although it's not working for us, we continue because "we've already invested so much time in it". I understand that but it is a trap. If you have thoroughly examined something and it's just not working, better to ditch and start from scratch than continue to be miserable. Life is too short to stick with something that's making you miserable (I say this not to give anyone license to just quit something the moment it's not going perfectly, by the way, but as a way to give us all permission to make different choices when fixing it isn't working).
So despite that I had painted nearly the entire living room wall, I decided to make a different decision even though I had it in my head that I wanted to finish the project by my birthday which was, at this point, a week away. In fairly short order, I decided on a more neutral color and committed to it. I can safely say, a year later, that I am MUCH happier looking at the neutral color every day than I would have the green. I guess the working from home thing has been the true test of any household decision - if I can live with it day in and day out for a year, it was a good decision.
We also started a sort of panic buying canned goods at this point. Now, we never got to the point where we were hauling and hoarding bags and bags and bags of food and toiletries, but we were mindful to buy a little bit extra every time we went to the store. But finding places to store the extra groceries has been one of the biggest challenges of a tiny apartment. We eventually solved it by buying what we refer to as "covid boxes" - those long clear plastic boxes made for under the bed storage. At this writing, we have a bit of a panty stored up after we thought that the winter surge would be worse than last springs surge... we will be eating pasta for a long time to come! lol