So in my mad whirl to unload, decrease, move forward, I've been taking inventory on many things in my life. Now, it's unrealistic to expect that I can do 'everything' at once, so I have been trying to give myself a bit of latitude to make forward movement every day even if it's a tiny thing; a tiny step forward is still a step forward.
It's with this in mind that I come to two small bouquets of dried flowers that have been sitting in a vase for seven and a half years - when my mom died in September 2012, two friends sent me bouquets and they both landed in a vase where they have sat for this entire time. They've been a constant reminder of her passing and the pain of that and so I feel that now might be the time to let them go. They are brittle so I don't think that they can be pressed and after a little bit of a search online, it looks like my only options would be to make potpourri from them or put them in soap. I don't think I'll do either but those are nice thoughts.
So today I say thanks for the flowers - the first from Dan, a guy I had started a long distance relationship with at the time and the second from a friend, Jodie, who has been there for me many times over the years in ways that were unexpected and beautiful.
I will miss my mom til the day I die but I have other reminders of her in my life and dead flowers aren't the way to celebrate her, my friends, or myself. At least, not anymore. It's a seeming small step, but being ready to move on from the daily reminder of a painful past, might be the biggest step of them all.