A few years ago, when I first made the leap from nightlife to corporate, a friend of mine reached out to ask if I was available to marry a couple of his friends who were coming up to New York from Atlanta. I, of course, said yes.
This friend wanted to get me the deposit as quickly as possible so he offered to stop by my job. I didn't really think anything of it until he showed up and I saw myself through his eyes - he was used to seeing me in jeans, a t shirt, maybe in tennis shoes or Doc Martens, but I stepped into the reception in my office drag - button down shirt, khakis, nice shoes and wearing glasses. He burst out laughing, and I immediately knew why and I started laughing too. I whispered a wry, "I know, girl, I KNOW!" and he giggled all the way out the door. (there aren't many people I will do "girl" with, and he was one of them).
For some reason, I think of this scene often and, in particular, was remembering it this week when I have been thinking of where I am in my life. I had a good giggle and thought that I should reach out to him and see what he was up to as it had been a couple years since we last spoke.
Unfortunately, Friday morning I found out that this friend passed away in an auto accident in Florida on Thursday.
I am heartbroken.
He was a sweet, funny, man who had delighted me with his sparkling personality every time I would encounter he and his boyfriend while I would be out and about. It was hard not to find him charming and so many people did; he had many close friends scattered here and there and was much loved and appreciated.
Knowing that I will never see him again has brought me to tears.
When someone leaves us that we haven't seen in awhile, we vow to see everyone we know because we don't want that to happen...and yet, that's unrealistic.
But, I think that we can make more of an effort, certainly, to see more of our old friends than we do.
And most importantly, we must remember those moments when someone has touched us in ways that they may never fully know. They may "just" be someone you knew that brought some joy to your life.... and when they are gone, they leave a bit of a hole.
Peace, my pal, you made a lot of people smile, including me.